The Real Cost of Your Awakening: Why Your Soul Had to Break Its Own Heart to Save Itself

Peace & Love Fam, pull up a chair and let Aunty talk to you for a second. You’re starting to realize that the life you were born into doesn’t quite fit the soul you’ve become.

In the spiritual community, we talk about the Great Awakening like it’s all glitter, sage, and sunshine. But let’s keep it 100: waking up is expensive. It costs you the comfort of the familiar. It costs you the version of yourself that everyone else was used to. It might even cost you the people you thought would be at your table forever.

"You Are Not The Outer Being"

I had to learn this the hard way. For a long time, I thought I was just a product of my environment—a little girl born into a story she didn't write. But then I realized: I am the soul inside this " Outer Form." We are placed in this " body" and born into environments we have no control over as children. To one degree or another we just have to experience it. But there comes a moment where you look around and realize the things being said and done in your circle have zero connection to who you are deep down. That’s when the spiritual severance starts.

The High Price of Leaving the "Toxic Table"

One of the hardest parts of my journey was cutting ties with toxic relatives at a young age. Now, don’t get me wrong—I loved them. But I realized that real family doesn't just want your "stuff" or your compliance; they want your presence. They want to grow with you.

I was surrounded by people who were masters at sucking the life force out of a room. They didn't want evolution; they wanted material things to make them feel like "somebody." But I wanted a life where I was respected by my husband and cherished by my children. I wanted friends who valued my energy, not just my output.

Aunty’s Truth: Sometimes you have to choose the "empty void" over a crowded room that devalues you. I chose the void, hoping it would be filled by something greater—and let me tell you, honey, the Universe never leaves that space empty for long.

Healing from Generational Trauma: The "First Brick"

When you walk away from a toxic family structure, you aren’t just leaving people; you’re leaving a foundation. Even a shaky, moldy foundation feels safer than standing on thin air, right?

I went through it—the anxiety of the unknown, the fear that I’d be alone forever. I was going at this blindly, but my soul knew it had to break away. I realized I had to become the Matriarch of a New Bloodline.

When you cut that cord, you’re the one who has to lay the new bricks. It’s heavy work, but you’re building a foundation that won't collapse on your children.

How to Keep the Traditions and Lose the Toxicity

You don't have to throw the whole kitchen sink away, sugar. I kept the traditions that built me up. I loved the way our family came together for the holidays. I loved the laughter and the smell of the food.

So, I kept the holidays, but I stripped away the toxicity:

• The Old Way: Expensive gifts, drama, and "keeping up appearances."

• The New Way: Game nights, family hikes, and vacations.

• The Focus: It’s about the connection, not the "things."

I took the energetic strength of my ancestors—the ones who truly loved—and I rejected the patterns that did not serve me. It is okay to pick up what is good and lay aside what is not.

A Final Word for the Awakening Soul

If you’re feeling lonely in your journey, remember this: people who are afraid to wake up will often bombard you with their drama because they need company in their sleep. They don't want you to move because it highlights their stillness.

You are not your family. You came through them, but you are a brand-new expression of life.

• Don't feel entitled to change—work for it.

• Do build a life where you are growing and thriving.

• Seek the happiness and peace you deserve.

You’re taking that family bloodline and you’re making it evolve. It’s okay to lay down what’s heavy. Your soul already knows the way—you just have to be brave enough to follow it.

Is this resonating with you, honey? 

Leave a comment below and tell Aunty one thing you’re choosing to "lay down" today so you can walk lighter.

Join the fun at Soultribe.media

I Don’t Want to Heal Alone Anymore...Healing In Community

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The Noise

Soultribe… can I be honest with you?

I used to believe that strength meant suffering in silence.

When life hit hard — and oh, it hit hard — I didn’t cry out for help. I folded my pain into prayer, swallowed my exhaustion, and kept showing up like nothing was wrong. I wanted people to see me as the strong one, the one who always had it together.

But let me tell you something I had to learn the long way around:That kind of silence doesn’t make you strong — it just makes you lonely.

See, I grew up in a time where when you went through hard times, you did it quietly. You didn’t share your struggles. You didn’t burden others. You just dealt with it. And so, for years, that’s what I did — until my body, my spirit, and my faith all called a meeting I could no longer avoid.

Are you craving real talk and grounded wisdom to carry you through these shifts? Come join us over at Soultribe Media — where we tell the truth, share the lessons, and hold space for each other in every season of change.

When Silence Became a Burden

There came a time in my life where one challenge followed another — miscarriage after miscarriage, financial struggle after financial struggle, heartbreak after heartbreak.

And every time, I went through it alone.

I told myself, “Nobody needs to see me like this. Nobody can fix it anyway.”But the truth underneath that was fear — fear that if people saw me broken, they’d never see me as capable again.

I kept praying, “Spirit, why is it that every time it’s my turn to go through something, I’m always left alone?”And still, I showed up for everybody else. Every friend, every family member, every client who needed me — I was there. But when I needed someone, the silence echoed back.

Until one day, I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

After my final miscarriage, I broke character. I let myself fall apart — and something beautiful happened.

One of my customers, someone I had only known through business, became my best friend overnight. She held me while I cried. She let me be human. And she didn’t flinch when I wasn’t strong.

In her kindness, I saw the medicine I didn’t even know I needed: witnessed healing.

Then another client — a woman whose home I had spiritually cleansed — came back to me weeks later, glowing. She was filled with gratitude, light, and grace. She thanked me with words and action — she volunteered to help me keep my store afloat when I was struggling to stay open.

That moment changed me.

Because while I was standing in the ashes of my breakdown — facing financial loss, emotional exhaustion, and spiritual depletion — people who truly loved me stood up beside me.

They didn’t owe me anything. They just showed up because that’s what love does.

You don’t have to walk this path alone, baby. Head over to our Mystikal Apothecary Linktree — it’s your one-stop home for everything Soultribe: our podcast, lives, rituals, and healing spaces. Every click connects you to the community that’s been waiting for you.

Healing Was Never Meant to Be Solitary, We Were born For Healing In Community

I realized that what I once called “independence” was really a trauma response.That my need to “handle it all” was really a fear of being disappointed, let down, or judged.

But here’s what Spirit whispered to me in that season: Healing doesn’t need to happen in solitary confinement.

I was not weak for needing witnesses to my growth.I was human.

And it was in that humanity — in my tears, in my vulnerability — that real love found me.

Because when you finally let people see your truth, the right ones don’t walk away… they walk closer.

The Practice: How to Build Healing Through Connection

Healing alone is what got us here, but healing together is what will get us through.

Here’s what I’ve learned about rebuilding trust and opening up again:

1. Invest in Those Who Invest in You.

Stop pouring into people who never pour back. Look around — who checks on you without needing something? Who prays for you without being asked? Those are your people. Love them fiercely.

2. Observe Your Circle.

Don’t confuse “like-minded” with “aligned.”Like-minded folks share interests; aligned souls share purpose.Find people who aren’t just in the same lane — find those driving toward the same destination.

3. Rebuild Trust From Empowerment, Not Trauma.

We’ve all been hurt. But you can’t build community from fear.Start small: share something honest, ask for help, accept help when it’s offered.Every time you do, your heart remembers that connection can be safe.

4. Join Communities That Feed You.

We are healing in community now, not outside of it.That’s why I invite you to join me live during Tea Time with Aunty this Thursday.We’re closing this month together — with stories, laughter, truth, and togetherness.

Because healing together is how we stay whole.

When you’re ready to sit in real conversation with people who get it, come join our SoulTribe Healing Circle on Facebook. It’s where we gather to share stories, lift one another up, and heal in real time — heart to heart, spirit to spirit.

The Tool

Join the Many Classes at B&P The Mystikal Apothecary — Where We Learn, Grow, and Connect While Building Community

When you’re opening your heart again, it’s okay to lean on sacred spaces that keep you grounded.

That’s why I invite you to join our classes at B&P The Mystikal Apothecary, where we come together as Soultribe to learn, grow, and reconnect — not just with Spirit, but with one another.

In our circles, we explore ritual, rootwork, and reflection. We share stories, laughter, and truth. We practice healing in community — because none of us were meant to do this work alone.

Whether you’re new to the path or deep in your journey, you’ll find space here to breathe, to learn, and to build bonds that feel like home.

Visit beadsandpotions.com to explore our upcoming classes and community offerings — where every gathering is a step toward healing together.

The Return

Soultribe, hear me — being strong doesn’t mean being silent.Being independent doesn’t mean being isolated.And being spiritual doesn’t mean doing it alone.

We heal best in witness.We grow best in community.

So take the walls down, just enough for love to come in. Let the ones who truly see you, hold you. You don’t have to heal alone anymore.

Peace and love, y’all. — Aunty Charmaine 🌿

Had to Break the Family Silence Before It Broke Me Breaking Generational Silence

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The Noise

There’s a kind of silence that don’t bring peace — it presses down on your chest like an old quilt soaked in secrets.

I grew up wrapped in that kind of silence.The kind that lives in the corners of kitchens after arguments, the kind that hums under every “I’m fine,” the kind our mothers and aunties wore like perfume.

They didn’t mean to teach it to us.It was the only language survival allowed.

See, in my family, we learned early that softness could be dangerous — that tears didn’t fix bills, and vulnerability didn’t keep lights on. So we learned to swallow what we couldn’t say.We smiled through pain and called it strength.

But the truth? The silence passed down isn’t sacred if it’s suffocating.

“If this message spoke to your spirit, come sit with me on the mic. I’m unpacking ‘When the Universe Puts You on Mute’ in this week’s episode of the Soultribe Podcast — where we talk about learning to truly listen to the Universe. 

Tap in and hear what silence’s been trying to tell you.”

The Roots

I was raised by strong women — unshakable, hardworking, prayer-warrior women. My mother, my grandmothers, my aunties — each of them carved from faith and fire.

My mother battled epilepsy. She was loving, but fragile. There were days her body betrayed her, and I had to grow up fast. I learned to read her breathing like scripture. To anticipate, to protect, to survive.

But in that space, something was missing — a tether.

I watched The Cosby Show like it was a manual for the kind of love I wanted — that visible, safe, soft kind of love. The kind where people talked through things instead of tucking them away.

But we didn’t talk. We just… kept going. And I inherited that quiet like a family heirloom.

The Inheritance breaking generational silence

I took that silence with me when I got married young.I built a life where connection was there, but vulnerability was optional.

We could laugh, but we couldn’t cry.

We could plan, but not process.

We could pray, but not feel.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to — I just didn’t know how.

The women before me had built entire worlds while swallowing storms. I mistook that for wholeness, when really it was survival.

And survival is not the same as healing.

“I don’t just write for you, I write with you. Subscribe to our work on MEDIUM and let’s grow in real time, Soultribe — one reflection, one revelation, one soft reminder at a time.

The Shift: The Awakening

By the time I hit my late 30s, early 40s, something in me cracked open.

I got tired of pretending that silence was sacred. I realized the guardedness I inherited wasn’t rebellion — it was a love language carved by heartbreak and endurance.

Our mothers didn’t withhold affection because they didn’t care.They withheld because they were afraid — afraid to want too much, to feel too deeply, to lose too hard.

And baby, that realization freed me.

Because healing isn’t about blaming our elders — it’s about decoding their survival codes.

Once I understood that, I stopped resenting their quiet and started learning from it, breaking generational silence.

Root Work

I started talking to my grandmothers — not in memory, but at the altar.

I’d sit with a cup of tea, light a candle, and whisper,

“Grandma, what did you go through?”

And somehow, the answers would come — through a song on the radio, a stranger’s story, or that ache in my chest that let me know I’d found truth.

I learned to face silence with softness.

Instead of cursing my lineage, I started asking it questions. Lighting incense became my way of focusing the prayer.I didn’t need to fix the past — I just needed to listen to it.

Are you ready to go deeper, not just read about healing — but live it with me? Join our Patreon family, Soultribe. That’s where we circle up behind the scenes with bonus teachings, ancestral wisdom drops, and Tea Time replays that keep the spirit full. Let’s grow together — for real.”

Navigating Change

If you’ve felt that same silence pressing on you, here’s what helped me begin the unlearning:

1. Face Silence with Softness.

Don’t fight the hush. Ask it what it came to teach you.When the memories rise, breathe through them.Light incense or a candle to anchor yourself.

2. Forgive Without Forgetting.

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing what happened — it’s about freeing yourself from carrying it. You can remember and still release.

3. Build Daily Rituals.

• Play gospel or ancestral music while you meditate.

• Journal your dreams, your triggers, your tiny victories.

• Light candles and call your ancestors by name.

Healing the root is about honoring the soil — the good, the rough, and the buried.

4. Set New Family Standards.

No more lonely mothers. No more daughters mistaking silence for peace. No more pain dressed up as love.

The pattern stops here. With us.

The Tool

Lineage work gets heavy sometimes. That’s when I lean on my tools — reminders of my commitment, not replacements for it.

When the silence feels thick and the memories get loud, I reach for ways to learn Ancestral Practices from beadsandpotions.com.

It includes an Ancestor Candle for light, Quiet Storm bath for dreaming, and Ancestral Digital Affirmation Cards for presence. These aren’t “magic” — they’re bridges. Each item whispers, “You are not alone. You come from love.”

The Remembering

Breaking silence isn’t rebellion — it’s remembrance.

It’s whispering to your grandmama’s spirit,

“We heard you. We understand now.”

When you speak, you free the ones who had to hold their tongues to survive.And in that freedom, the next generation learns to breathe easier.

We’re not just healing ourselves, Soultribe.We’re rewriting the story — with love, with voice, with grace.

Peace and love, y’all. — Aunty Charmaine 🌿